


Confidence

by teudoongiejjang



Series: Tumblr Prompts [2]
Category: K-pop, TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, F/F, Momo-centric, Panic Attacks, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 04:44:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17842700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teudoongiejjang/pseuds/teudoongiejjang
Summary: Momo didn’t know how to approach answering Nayeon. How was she meant to tell her member that she didn’t feel good enough, that she didn’t feel like she belonged. The others were so much better than her.





	Confidence

**Author's Note:**

> So this story will have descriptions of Panic Attacks so please be warned that if that triggers you, you might not want to read this. This also deals with self-esteem issues and lack of self-confidence. I'm a relatively new writer so please only constructive criticism. Enjoy!

Walking into the dorm she had this overwhelming feeling of sadness. Sighing, she dropped her bag haphazardly by the door, knowing Jeongyeon would have something to say about it but frankly she was beyond the point of caring. The choreography for their upcoming comeback, Dance the Night Away, wasn’t particularly challenging for a seasoned dancer such as herself however, the steps just wouldn’t come to her. She was in a slump, making sloppy mistakes with her moves not being sharp enough or on beat. Watching herself in the mirror of the practice room frustrated her more knowing she could do better, she was the main dancer after all. 

‘Main Dancer’ she thought and huffed. A main dancer should pick up the moves quicker than this. The other members had left the practice room hours before she had. When they questioned her on staying longer, she shrugged them off with a poor excuse of wanting to go over the routine one final time. With all of them understanding how much of a perfectionist she was, it took little convincing for them to leave without her. 

 

That was four hours ago, with it now being 11pm there was little noise or light to be heard or seen throughout the dorm. The dancer shuffled into the kitchen in search of something to eat. The fridge was stark, only containing a few drinks one of them being an opened bottle probably left there by their rank number nine, Nayeon. The other members must’ve ordered in. Momo tried not to feel left out that they didn’t think of her but then again why would they? She chose to stay on and practice longer, not to mention she’s been distant lately. She didn’t mean to be. It’s coming up to that time of the year she hates. The moment that almost ruined her life. She wasn’t being dramatic. She left her home country, her family and friends for this opportunity. Going to a completely different country with no knowledge of the language, not being acquainted with anyone. Training hard for three years before being selected to partake in a survival show, she worked hard. All that came crashing down along with her self-confidence when she was eliminated. Grabbing a glass from the cupboard she filled it with water. She suddenly didn’t feel like eating, her appetite dissipating. 

 

Nayeon awoke hearing someone pottering about the dorm. Blinking she adjusted to the darkness of the room. There a was a faint window of light flooding into the room from around the bedroom door indicating that someone was up. Perhaps it was a bit early for a group of girls in their twenties to be asleep but with the comebacks, variety shows, choreography and recordings sleep was rare and precious. Turning over she rubbed the sleep from her eyes with the back of her hand. Mindful of Jihyo, Sana and Mina soundly sleeping in their respective beds she rolled out of hers and started toward the kitchen. The figure hunched over the kitchen counter had her back turned to Nayeon. Although she knew who it was. Momo was the only of them to not return to the dorm after practice. Under the guise of wanting to ‘perfect’ the routine Nayeon knew there was something else wrong. Momo could do all of their choreography with her eyes closed and backwards if she so wished. It amazed Nayeon how good her dongsaeng is, she paled in comparison to Momo. 

 

“Momo?” came a soft whisper. The dancer yelped and straightened, always one to be easily scared. Smiling softly at the younger, Nayeon approached the dark-haired girl. Wrapping her arms around the dancers toned stomach she instantly knew something was wrong when the body in front of her stiffened at her touch. Skinship between the two was a common occurrence and often landed them in trouble from their managers, thinking back to the v-live with the strawberry lace version of the Pepero Kiss which had been taken down. The fans didn’t care though, they loved it. Nayeon knew this and she knew of the popularity ‘Namo’ had online. 

 

“Momo-yah?” No reply.   
The two of them stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity until Nayeon began to lose patience. She placed her hands on Momo’s hips and attempted to turn the girl around to face her, but she wouldn’t budge. Huffing, she turned to leave thinking that maybe space was what the younger girl needed. However, hearing sniffling drew her right back to the counter. Momo’s shoulders were softly shaking and her breathing was short and rapid. Nayeon’s heart shattered as she watched the dancer try to quieten her cries. Momo was one of the strongest of the group, it didn’t take much to make Nayeon, Sana or Jihyo cry, however Momo was usually composed. Seeing the usually bubbly girl cry was one of the worst sights you could witness. 

 

“Momo-yah, baby?” she tried again. A broken sob was the response. Stalking up to Momo, Nayeon grabbed the girls hand and gently led her to the living room. Dropping down onto the couch she pulled Momo onto her lap. The latter buried her face, stifling her cries, against Nayeon’s neck. The older of the two rubbed patterns onto her back and her thigh. Knowing that Momo would need some time to calm down before she could talk to her, Nayeon repeated this for a few minutes. Nayeon silently wondered what had the dancer in this state. She didn’t know of any tension between any of the members or any of the staff and Momo. Hearing footsteps she looked up to see Jihyo standing in the hall confusedly. Gently shaking her head at Jihyo letting her know she also didn’t know what was going on, the leader entering the kitchen and the sounds of cupboards being opened was heard. 

 

“U-unnie?” the stuttered and shaky address returned her attention to the dancer. Gently knocking her shoulder forward, she coaxed Momo from her hiding space. However, the younger wouldn’t meet her gaze. Gently, with her index finger, she tipped the girls chin upward encouraging her to meet her eyes. The dancers eyes were red and puffy, silent tears still seeping from her eyes. Using her sleeve, Nayeon wiped the other girls tears away. Whilst she acted like the maknae of the group the majority of the time, Nayeon adapted to her role as Unnie whenever the others were upset or simply needed advice. She loved taking care of the others and loved that they trusted her enough to show her this side of them. 

 

“What’s up Momo-yah?” softly questioned the older girl. Silence greeted her once again. Staring at Momo she awaited a reply. The dancers lip trembled as she pulled it between her teeth in a desperate attempt to stop her cries. 

 

Momo didn’t know how to approach answering her unnie. How was she meant to tell her member that she didn’t feel good enough, that she didn’t feel like she belonged. The others were so much better than her. Jihyo, Jeongyeon and Nayeon had strong vocals that wowed anyone who heard them. Sana and Dahyun had amazing personalities perfect for variety shows, not to mention that Sana was an amazing dancer and Dahyun had great flow and rhythm to her raps. Mina’s soft voice could melt anyone’s heart in an instant and she was just as good if not better a dancer than her. Chaeyoung, whilst underappreciated and utilised in the group, was an exceptional rapper and dancer with style and swag oozing from every move she made. Finally, Tzuyu, the maknae. The visual to end all visuals. She was the full package, with an incredible voice and dancing skills. Momo was just Momo. She knew what the comments said, how it was just out of pity that JYP added her back into the group. That she couldn’t sing, that she wasn’t pretty enough. That she was too dumb and slow. Breathing in she choked on a sob, she couldn’t catch her breath. Heartrate increasing, she clutched onto Nayeon’s hand to ground herself. 

 

At that moment Jihyo re-entered the living room with three steaming mugs of hot chocolate. Eyes wide she set the drinks on the coffee table and kneeled in front of the distraught girl.

 

“She’s having a panic attack” 

 

Heaving short bursts of air, light-headedness began to cloud Momo’s mind and her vision blurred. Jihyo placed gently took Momo’s unoccupied hand and brought it toward her chest.

 

“Momo-Unnie? I need you to copy my breathing. Can you do that for me?” 

 

Receiving a curt nod Jihyo began to breathe in a slow and regular manner smiling at Momo as she began to emulate this. Now calm, exhaustion began to take over the dancer. Eyes drooped as her head lolled to the side into the crook of Nayeon’s neck. The leader raised up and took a seat next to the sleeping figure.

 

“Do you have any idea what’s wrong with her?” Looking at the time she decided to let the dancer rest while she and Nayeon talked.

 

“No, I found her hunched over the kitchen counter. She seemed out of it and tense” 

 

“This is weird, Momo-Unnie is never like this. The last time I properly seen her cry was…” trailing off realisation dawned on the leader. How could they not have known? It was nearing that time of year again.

 

“Sixteen” Nayeon concluded.


End file.
